faith

I want to throw myself in
just once again, no more running
just let me stay in this thought of who I am
inside, my stomach’s tied up in knots
crimping what was once undone
in my head, my soul. I AM NOT! I want
substance, clearing, pain, love, freedom
just a modern day hippie with peace
on my mind racing around with the
compulsion of responsibilities, ties, lies
it’s all the same…
I come back to You.
You are my God.
My love,
My peace,
My clearing.
Responsibilities tie to me but never lie
there waiting for me to fall again, just
once I tasted your grape-seed of knowledge
from forbidden fruit, syrups of blood
came down to me to cleanse my filthy
clothing of sin like the dew of mountains
running down my back, hydrating the power
You’ve given me so I could be just like You.
My sad pathetic knees fall to Your feet
undeserving flesh of a baby’s cheek so new
I can’t imagine why my insecurities

are nothing to You, holding my heartstrings
in Your arms always playing soft music when
all I can do is scream at You run from You
just so I can throw myself in
just once again, no more running
Just one more glance at who I am
inside, I love to lie to You to me in sin
of lust of things I can destroy of me so
everyday can be like the next no way of
ever being loved as completely, as desired
I’ve tasted the grape-seed from Your mouth
that now I spit out not wanting to remember
how sweet Your love can be, torturing
my days so I can feel pity for myself
I get lost not remembering the path back
to You I wander wondering if I could ever
feel complete if I ever just stopped
standing in the wrong direction I have no
more truth in my mind no tangible thoughts
or expressions…
I come back to You.
You are my God.
My substance.
My pain.
My clearing.
If only I could better share this with You.
If only I could better show my love for You.